Reframe the reasons and excuses you give yourself not to succeed

The Telos Lifestyle Revolution™ System Lesson Menu

The Telos Lifestyle Revolution™ – Introduction
How can The Telos Lifestyle Revolution™ help you?
The Telos Lifestyle Revolution™ – Background
The Telos Lifestyle Revolution™ Fundamentals
Build your reasons to succeed
Reframe the reasons and excuses you give yourself not to succeed
The science of goal setting and developing robustness
Submodalities: Change habits, alter beliefs, and build motivation
POWER Questions: Daily questions that can change your life

The issue for most people who cant seem to start or continue and maintain a habit probably isn’t a lack of motivation, or that they are lazy or don’t have the skills or knowledge.

As stated often through this training, you probably are very successful in many areas of your life, but with some habits or goals you just don’t seem to be able to get going and keep on going.

So why is that?

It’s not motivation you lack

It’s not motivation you lack, it’s just the wrong priorities. Once it becomes a priority you start to become driven like a person with their hair on fire running to a lake to put it out!

In the lesson, Build Your Reasons to Succeed, you will have worked on building your list of ‘pros’ for beginning or maintaining a habit.

This lesson is exactly the opposite and instead focuses on the ‘cons’. These are the programs that you are running in your own mind that inhibit you from starting and continuing to maintain a healthy, beneficial habit. These programs are a large part of why you are not succeeding.

Working on this area of life reduces the Impulsiveness or distraction element of the Motivation Equation.

Many of the programs are obvious to us, like when we say to ourselves that we just don’t ‘feel like doing it’, or maybe when our friends talk us into going to a party rather than doing what we had planned.

Unfortunately, there are many that are much more subtle and difficult to spot and many of them were programmed into us at such a young age that we didn’t even consciously choose them to begin with.

The object of this exercise is to write down as many of the reasons you give yourself for not following through with your habit or process and then ‘reframe’ them to neutralise their effect on you.

We’ll take wanting to start exercising as an example and as you can see from the list below, there are plenty of arguments available to us for not getting to the gym, or taking a run, or getting up off the sofa.

According to a survey* of over 6 million women in the UK, the main reasons we don’t want to go to the gym are –

  • Too worried about what everyone else is thinking about you
  • Don’t have the right clothes, equipment or perfect technique
  • Certainly shouldn’t be spending that amount of money on yourself
  • Shouldn’t you be spending your free time with your children instead

So let’s take each one and reframe them so they can become ‘pros’ and turn them into benefits for taking exercise.

Too worried about what everyone else is thinking about you

There is a specific name for this cognitive bias: Spotlight effect

The Spotlight effect is the tendency of an individual to overestimate the extent to which others are paying attention to the individual’s appearance and behaviour.

And it doesn’t take long to do a search online to find lot’s of encouraging support from people who are experienced at the gym and learn what they really think about people who are just starting out:

Most of the time when I see ppl outta shape at the gym I have this thought that commends their presence there. Like, “good for you”.

So, you may say to yourself the next time you are exercising or going to exercise:

“OK, I may be worried about what everyone else is thinking about me, but that is just my imagination and according to what I read most of them are actually supporting me in their minds and are willing me on because they love exercise and they want more people to enjoy exercising with them, and that includes me.

“And the people who really know how to exercise and are good people will even want to help me and show me new ways to exercise and new ways of how to enjoy exercising too, because they love to share their knowledge.”

“And a good percentage of them started off just like me, and just like me started to discover how to enjoy exercising no matter what their capabilities.”

Once you have the reframe sentences written down you can then lead your train of thought back to your list of Reasons To Succeed. Together they move the importance of exercising up the priority ladder in your mind.

Don’t know what to do and might not have the perfect technique

Thanks to Youtube there are thousands of hours of high quality instructional videos available to learn from before you even set foot in the gym. The top trainers in the world will give you detailed information on how to train properly and safely and if you were to watch just a few hours worth you will know more about the proper technique than 95% of the people in the gym with you.

And always remember too that the people who do train regularly love to be asked questions as it will make them feel good being helpful.

You might say to yourself:

“I may not know or have the perfect technique, but doing any movement or exercise is better than doing nothing at all, which is what the vast majority of the population do, nothing.

“And now that I’ve watched some videos I will be doing better than before and practice makes perfect.

“I could also ask someone for some help and maybe make a gym-buddie who I can say ‘hi’ to next time I’m here.”

Certainly shouldn’t be spending that amount of money on yourself

If you used that logic with servicing your car it wouldn’t be long before things started to go wrong with it and by the time it broke down it would probably cost you much more money to get it fixed.

The same is true with your body, except you can’t replace parts like you can with a car.

Shouldn’t you be spending your free time with your children instead

You can exercise with your children and become a role model for them to appreciate the benefits of exercise as listed in the previous step.

Also, it wouldn’t take long for you to do the maths of taking a little time each day to exercise compared to the lost time with your children due to premature illness and death, which is one of the major symptoms of not exercising.

A daily walk can add seven years to your life

A study by Sanjay Sharma, professor of inherited cardiac diseases in sports cardiology at St. George’s University Hospitals in London, explains:

Exercise buys you three to seven additional years of life. It is an antidepressant, it improves cognitive function, and there is now evidence that it may retard the onset of dementia.

Part of what makes walking so beneficial is that when you’re walking you can’t be sitting. Sitting for more than eight hours a day is associated with a 90 percent increased risk of type 2 diabetes, along with increased risks of heart disease, cancer, and all-cause mortality (source – University of Toronto).

According to Dr. James Levine, director of the Mayo Clinic-Arizona State University Obesity Solutions Initiative, not exercising is the equivalent of smoking a packet of cigarettes every day.

Sitting is more dangerous than smoking, kills more people than HIV and is more treacherous than parachuting. We are sitting ourselves to death.

Two PDFs are available to help you with this lesson.

Write down as many reasons you tell yourself not to do something and then write the reframe answer to counter them.

I’ve provided an exercise sheet to help you:

Reframe the excuses exercise sheet

And listed below are some examples of the excuses people give themselves for not exercising.

Maybe you will recognise a few there that you tell yourself that inhibit you from getting to the gym.

70 reasons for NOT getting some exercise

Download a pdf version of this list

▢ Cardio is overrated
▢ Exercise is painful
▢ Exercising is hard
▢ I already took a shower
▢ I am scared of injury
▢ I didn’t get much sleep last night
▢ I don’t care enough
▢ I don’t know how to perform the exercises
▢ I don’t want to look too muscular
▢ I don’t want to lose my femininity
▢ I don’t want to miss my television shows
▢ I don’t want to start looking all sinewy
▢ I don’t want to get too defined
▢ I forgot my shampoo
▢ I forgot my wrist straps
▢ I got a flat tire on the way to the gym
▢ I hate being out of breath
▢ I hate being too cold
▢ I hate being too hot
▢ I hate blisters and calluses
▢ I hate getting dirty
▢ I hate getting out of bed when it’s dark and cold
▢ I hate getting wet in the rain
▢ I hate going out at night when it’s dark and cold
▢ I hate my training routine
▢ I hate sore muscles
▢ I hate sweating
▢ I hate working out in front of people at the gym
▢ I have anxiety and depression
▢ I haven’t had a coffee to give me enough energy
▢ I haven’t had any carbs today
▢ I just don’t have the genes for exercise
▢ I just had sex
▢ I ran out of my workout supplement today
▢ I stubbed my toe this morning
▢ I think I ate too much gluten this morning
▢ I think I’ve got a cold coming on
▢ I was told not to exercise after 7PM because it interferes with sleep
▢ I’d rather stay in bed and sleep in
▢ I’ll do it later
▢ I’ll just eat less today and skip the cardio
▢ I’m fasting today and don’t want to use my muscles as fuel
▢ I’m feeling constipated today
▢ I’m not in the mood today
▢ I’m on my feet all day at work and that counts as my exercise
▢ I’m still hung over from the bar last night
▢ I’m too big
▢ I’m too exhausted from watching the kids all day
▢ I’ve had a long day at the office
▢ It’s the weekend, you’ve got to relax, right?
▢ It’s too expensive to join a gym
▢ I’ve already worked out once this week
▢ Lack of knowing what to do for my body
▢ Lack of Results
▢ Looking after the kids is enough exercise
▢ Menopause
▢ My car is in the garage
▢ My car is low on petrol
▢ My friends tell me to have fun instead
▢ No workout buddy
▢ People at work say I’m wasting away
▢ The gym is closed
▢ The weather
▢ There’s always tomorrow
▢ There’s no AC in the gym
▢ There’s no heat in the gym
▢ There’s too much information out there about exercise and I am overwhelmed
▢ You want to exercise but you have to take care of the kids and family
▢ Your Current Physical Condition
▢ You’re not seeing any changes in your body