“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”
Tony Robbins
If you feel nervous, inhibited, scared, self conscious or anything else when making decisions in life in any shape or form, no matter what the circumstance or whatever point in your life, it is most likely, as explained in the previous chapter, due to your inner dialogue and what you are consistently saying to yourself in your own mind.
The main problem with your inner dialogue is you will probably, in your own mind, be asking yourself all the wrong types of questions. You will be looking into every aspect of you as a person and your history and you will probably be trying to figure out what it is wrong with you. And it is here that you will make the worst mistakes of all and you will ask yourself the fatal question, “why?”
Your very own supercomputer
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.
Voltaire
Your brain is often referred to as a supercomputer. It can store data, process information and respond with answers to complex calculations. Our brain makes sense of our world and how we interpret the events taking place around us we experience every moment we are alive. You can ask yourself a question and it will come up with an answer even if it is based on limited data or even no information at all! And it is this amazing ability of the brain to magically offer answers to questions you ask of it, even though you couldn´t possibly know the answer, that can cause the insecurities you have with yourself and in your life.
In the bible it says, ‘ask and thy shall receive’, and it is the same with the brain. You ask the brain a question and it WILL give you an answer, even though it may not be the correct answer or the answer that is best suited for your well being. Neither does it provide answers to questions with clauses attached explaining where the answer may be incomplete, unsubstantiated, biased or just plain wrong due to lack of data. Therefore, ask the question, “why?” and whether or not it has adequate or sufficient enough information required to provide an accurate answer, your brain will still furnish you with an answer.
When it comes to you, your life and success, the hypothetical questions you are asking yourself in your mind can be like opening a Pandora’s box of mental and emotional self flagellation. Ask yourself questions such as, ´why can’t I be successful?´ or ´why don´t I have more money?´ and whether or not your brain has any real facts to base its answer on it will provide you with one. Answers like, “because I am useless”, “because they wouldn’t be interested in someone like me”, “because I don’t deserve it”, “there are other people who are smarter than me” can and will be thrown up as an answer by an undisciplined mind.”
“Albert grunted. “Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?”
Mort thought for a moment.
“No,” he said eventually, “what?”
There was silence.
Then Albert straightened up and said, “Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve ’em right.”Terry Pratchett, Mort
Your brain will almost always provide you with an answer to any question you have for it. It wouldn´t be so bad if you instead said to yourself, ´well, no, actually I don´t know. I am not in the mind of the people in question and couldn´t possibly know what they are thinking, the circumstances and reasons for them to base their decisions on, and therefore I am not going to try to hypothesise a reason for their actions”, or “well, have I given it a go? Is there any real evidence to suggest I couldn’t make it?” or “Let’s go for it!” However, we don´t!
It is funny, with relationships for instance, we often say jokingly that it is impossible to understand how a person thinks, and yet in the turmoil of our inner dialogue our minds are constantly trying to evaluate, surmise, interpret, predict and understand everyone else’s thoughts and their actions.
When trying to assess your situation in work or business, it is best to ask questions like, “how?” and “what?” “What can I do now to build my confidence when talking to clients?” “How can I learn more about building successful relationships?” “What can I do differently next time my business fails?” “What can I learn from this book that will make a difference for me?”
THE QUESTION IS THE ANSWER
The scientist is not a person who gives the right answers, he’s one who asks the right questions.
Claude Lévi-Strauss
Just like with the sciences, law and politics, the question is just as important as the answer. In politics asking the right question can get you the answer you want. It is no different with your brain. You have to be asking yourself the right question to get the best answer for you. Ask yourself, ‘why?’ and your mind will often come up with all sorts of amazing, self deprecating and often disastrous answers. On the other hand, ask yourself “how?” or “what?” and the response you get will be completely different.
Here is an example. Ask yourself, “why can’t I start a business?” and you will probably receive answers like, ´because I am a loser and don’t deserve to earn more money”, “my family will tell me I am crazy and a fool!” On the other hand, if you ask a question like, “What can I do to feel super confident about starting a business and enjoy the outcome no matter what?” you will receive a useful, supportive answer like, “read this book”, “go to the library or local university to find out about business courses”, “learn techniques for improving self confidence”, “visit a successful local business person and or a qualified, experienced specialist who can help me overcome my insecurities and succeed in business”.
Change your method of questioning and you will change your destiny
As you can see, the first question will give you an answer, but no solution as to why you can’t start your own business, whereas the second question directs your mind into looking for solutions to your dilemma. It seems so simple and obvious and yet what you are saying to yourself and the questions you are asking of yourself right now are shaping your destiny, and that’s no small matter.
It isn´t that you can never ask the question, “why?” However, unless you are already confident in yourself, happy with yourself, positive and always looking for the best for you, you might want to avoid this form of questioning. Instead, ask questions like, ‘how can I succeed?’ ‘what are my best attributes I can use now to get a job?’ ‘where can I improve my life to set myself up in a winning position to get a promotion?’ You see the difference? This type of questioning brings about positive, goal oriented, focused, supportive answers.
Change your method of questioning and you will change your destiny. Ask yourself questions that lead to effective solutions and soon you will be discovering the answers to your dreams and winning the life of your dreams too. You must have already asked at least a few successful, winning, empowering questions regarding success just to be here right now reading this book and you are now on your way to becoming the master of your own life, attracting the desires you want and with some dedication the success you want to enjoy the rest of your life.
You are what your deep driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
From the “Upanishads”.
REPROGRAMMING THE MACHINE
What the mind can conceive, it can achieve.
Napoleon Hill
So, you have this amazing machine called the brain, and yes you can do amazing things with it, but do you really know how to use it? Can you reprogram it so that you can think differently and feel differently in any situation at will?
If you know how to work your brain you should be able to decide how you want to feel at any given moment, especially when you need to make an important decision.